It’s no longer a well-kept secret: sex toys are one of the best (if not the best) ways to ramp up the pleasure factor in a relationship where excitement levels may be on the plateau. The world of adult toys is now vast and varied thanks to the sex tech industry’s constant innovation.
If you’re questioning how to start using sex toys in your relationship, the answer is very simple – it’s starts with open communication. But we appreciate that for some, it’s not an easy conversation to start.
Here, we outline top tips for making your sex-toy fantasies a very real thing with your partner.
Choose the right time
It’s the very best piece of sex toy advice you’ll hear when broaching the topic with your partner – get your timing right. Even the most adventurous of lovers might be startled if you’re all of a sudden brandishing a dildo mid-entanglement.
If you’re inwardly questioning how to use sex toys with your partner and you both already openly talk about sex, this is half the battle won – your relationship is a safe space you’ve fostered to freely and intimately talk about your sexual needs and desires.
Communication is so important at this stage so you both feel involved, heard and validated. Your partner should be included in your bedroom plans. If they don’t initially seem at ease with trying a sex toy, they’ll want to ask you questions and perhaps try it out on their own, and become more comfortable with the idea of it.
Discuss the benefits of adult toys
Sex toys are the wondrous tools they are because they help us achieve sensations and feel stimulated in ways that aren’t always possible at just the human touch.
And we’re not just talking about female sex toys here – fun sex toys for him should always be brought into the mix too. You should both be equally comfortable (and satisfied) and talk in detail about the benefits sex toys will be bring to your relationship.
The right sex toys help make a good sex life explosive – and that’s for a number of reasons. Sex toys can break up monotony and alleviate that run-of-the-mill comfortable routine you’ve gotten yourselves into. But more than this, they can help you both communicate on a much more intimate level, bring you closer and maintain that passion and desire.
Conversely, it’s also important to discuss what sex toys don’t do, as for many, feeling threatened can be behind any resistance to try. Sex toys don’t make better partners – they don’t replace the need for a partner and they shouldn’t ever be viewed as competition.
Interactive sex toys (for him and for her) offer a great way for couples to connect and play, without either of you relinquishing control of each other’s pleasure.
Show them how to use the toy
Continue that support and respect you’ve so far shown them with communication. If they’ve never used a toy before, chances are they won’t be entirely sure how to use one. Since you’re experienced with toys, now is your chance to teach your partner how to use one.
Teach them the basics of how to connect their toy to their phone (if it’s interactive), how to change speeds and vibration patterns and how to get really comfortable with it. Give them some time to play around with the toy and get a grasp of how to use it – particularly if you’re trying male sex toys for the first time.
For a partner with a penis, a sex toy like Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Interactive (powered by KIIROO) is a great introduction for an exploration of what you both like during sex.
Shop for toys together
…online, in the comfort of your home, so you can both be open about what you like – and don’t like – the idea of. Shopping for the toys together should be fun so don’t put too much pressure on yourselves.
The adult toy world is now more technologically advanced and innovative than ever before so you’re bound to find something that suits you both. KIIROO couples’ sets can be used for solo pleasure and with your partner – but they’re particularly great if you’re in a long-distance relationship, as their tech means you can connect with one another from anywhere in the world.
Wondering what is the best male sex toy? Take a look at our guide to KIIROO’s male masturbators to offer a little more support in your decision making. Similarly, we’ve compared all our favorite toys for vaginas in a guide to KIIROO’s vibrators.
See how Kiiroo products measure against other companies. View our comparison table.
When thinking about how to introduce sex toys to your partner, remember the whole point is that you want to have fun with them so don’t take it all too seriously.
Importantly, make sure your toys are made of body-safe materials and check-in with your partner to ensure you’re both having a good time. It shouldn’t be stressful. Make the most of the experience and make sure to include your partner every step of the way.
