Many of us wouldn’t think mindfulness and sex could be associated activities but that’s really the point with ‘mindful sex’: change your way of thinking and you’re in for orgasm after orgasm of the mind-blowing kind.
Amazing sex awaits if you give yourself to it entirely. Sex is more than just a physical activity – or at least it should be. For maximum pleasure, increased intimacy and a whole host of other physical and emotional benefits, mindful sex sees you fully immersed in the moment and laser-focused on the sensations.
Here, we argue the cause for why we all deserve to enjoy mindful sex and highlight top tips so you can get started as soon as possible. Because, why wait?
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is all about being in the moment and paying real attention to every detail of that moment. It’s about being acutely aware of every sensation, sound and feeling and not allowing yourself to become distracted in any way. It makes sense then that mindful thinking can be easily applied to any between-the-sheets action.
Mindful sex is as simple as it sounds. It doesn’t actively seek out the end goal – achieving orgasm – but instead lingers on and enjoys every element in the run up to the orgasm.
In mindful sex, there’s no room for wandering minds (emptying the dishwasher can wait), nor should it be rushed or go through the motions and stick to the same old, same old.
Mindful sex allows you to experience sexual encounters in a deeper and more intimate way because you’re fully in the moment and focused on every sensation.
More than improving a person’s mental health, mindful sex can actually heighten sexual pleasure, increase intimacy and emotional connections with your partner and revive and breathe new life into tired old bedroom routines.
How to make mindful sex your everyday sex
Mindful sex won’t be for everyone. Busy lifestyles naturally mean we find it difficult to switch off and focus entirely on one thing. But if you can make the time to follow these few tips, you will reap the rewards in your sex life.
Practice mindfulness in your day-to-day life
Mindfulness can apply to any situation at any given time – so get into the habit before you even step foot in the bedroom tonight!
Make a concerted effort to notice the sensations of your everyday routine (your breathing on your daily walk, the water on your skin in the shower or the food you eat for lunch, for example).
Doing this helps you get in the right mind frame and switch off ‘autopilot’ mode, bringing a calming energy to your life – and the bedroom.
Let your partner know
Mindful sex is a mutually beneficial experience so you should both be invested and, as with any kind of sex, communication is key here. Begin by discussing what you both enjoy during sex and the sensations you’d like to experience and experiment with.
Go at it alone first
Nobody knows your body as intimately as you and solo sessions with sex toys are a great way to better your experience with your partner. Take some time out to properly explore your body, finding out what you do and don’t like, to help you better understand what you want from partnered sex.
Get more tips for how to enjoy self love without the guilt or invest in pleasure products like the Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Interactive or the OhMiBod Esca2 for a more intimate exploration of your body’s needs.
Forget pre-conceptions and routine
During sex, you shouldn’t let your mind wander to the usual ‘routine’. If you’re doing mindful sex right, you’ll find your usual routine will likely change, as you’ll spend longer exploring and enjoying each other’s bodies (and not rushing toward that end goal). Any preconceptions and expectations should be left on the bedroom floor with your discarded clothes.
Focus on every single sensation
Concentrate on breathing through every single sensation – the feel of your partner’s hand running through your hair or what their lips taste like. Noticing every little movement or feeling works to really ground you in the moment.
You’re not thinking about what’s coming next or worrying whether you are doing something right or wrong – you’re wholly present in that moment, aware of every emotion and feeling available to your senses.
While it might not come easy for some, mastering this state of mind during sex is guaranteed to take your sexual pleasure to another dimension. Mindful sex reduces stress, increases intimacy and connections and helps you focus on the act itself, rather than rushing through to reach the big ‘O’.
Why haven’t we been doing this all our lives?!
For ways to even further enhance the connection with your partner and feel different sensations, take a look at KIIROO’s couple sets and intensify playtime.
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