This July and August Kiiroo will be running a series of Guest Blogs written by prominent #Sex #Sexuality and #SexTech
enthusiasts.
In this fourth iteration, we feature Emmeline Peaches’ take on Couples Sharing Erotic Content.
All opinions expressed are solely those of the author and may or may not reflect Kiiroo’s vision and moral stance.
Enjoy!
With feminist and queer porn movements gaining momentum (and awesome people like Erika Lust and Tristan Taormino in the industry) it’s a great time to watch adult content and watch it openly. But, wait, porn is something best viewed alone and under secretive conditions, right? Something that you just do but never talk about, especially not to your partner, right? Wrong! Gone are the days of hiding one’s viewing habits. Or, at least, they should be. Those were the findings of a 2014 study done by Resch & Alderson. In a study consisting of 340 heterosexual women between 18 to 41 years of age Resch & Alderson looked at the openness of their partner’s porn usage, how it made them feel, and any mutual consumption that the couples engaged in. The results showed that although women whose partner kept their porn habits from them were understandably distressed, couples who were open about their porn use reported higher relationship satisfaction. Consuming pornography in an open manner was considered to enrich intimacy, while those who viewed porn together were shown to be less distressed than those who did not. As well as being very significant for the sex-positive crowd, this study got me thinking: Is open, mutual porn consumption mainstream yet? And, if not, then why not? There are clearly benefits to openly sharing porn, after all, so shouldn’t we all be embracing mutual viewings? I don’t have the answer to all of these questions, but what I do have is a case; a case for watching adult content together as a couple. So, without further ado, allow me to tell you five reasons as to why watching porn together can bring you closer together.
It Opens Up a Dialogue
I mentioned the importance of communication in my last article so I’m going to keep this point brief. At the heart of every good relationship is communication—the ability to be open and honest with your partner. By talking about your porn habits and presenting them to each other you can explore your secret desires, what you find arousing, and what porn means to you. All positive topics.
It Can Be Arousing
Watching or reading adult material together is a perfect way to add something new to foreplay. Pick out something that you think you’ll both enjoy (you’d be surprised how much of a shared hobby porn can become) and then do what feels comfortable. Being aroused alone is one thing. Feeling that arousal build up then looking to your partner and knowing they feel the same is something else altogether.
Inspiration Can Strike
Once you talk about what turns you on then your fantasies can suddenly become a reality. You may decide a certain roleplay scene is something you’d both be interested in trying. Or perhaps you’ll find a certain position that really captures your imagination. Maybe even a sex toy or two! Pornography, among other things, is a creative outlet so it’s not unusual for it to leave viewers with some creative inspiration of their own.
It Reduces Secrecy
One of the main things that the Resch & Alderson study highlighted is that if women feel like their partner is watching porn secretly then it causes notable distress. Wondering what your partner is watching (and if they’re sneaking off to watch it) can be very troubling for many people. By being open about your porn habits and sharing the activity that sense of worry is suddenly decreased. An honest relationship is a happy one.
It Enhances Your Bond as a Couple
In many ways using adult content is very similar to using a sex toy—it’s an enabler, an initiator for new and different sexual experiences. Indulge in adult content together and suddenly you’re presented with a mutual sexual experience which you can both enjoy. When you explore porn as a couple you’re forging shared memories, ones that can last for a very long time. Such deeply intimate experiences can do wonders to reinforce a couple’s bond. Of course, watching adult content together won’t be for everyone and that’s fine. I also think it’s important to promote ethical adult content and to question problematic aspects of the industry. Still, it’s fair to say that consuming adult content together can have some fantastic benefits and even strengthen some people’s relationship. So if you haven’t tried it already then why not give it a go? You may be pleasantly surprised with the results.
About Emmeline Peaches
Emmeline Peaches is a queer female who loves to write about sex and review adult products.
Her early sexual experiences led to the discovery that she was suffering from Vaginismus.
Undeterred, Emmeline took to her local sex store and started informing herself about the wonderful world of adult products. With time, determination, and a bullet vibe, Emmeline eventually managed to overcome her condition and gained an unyielding love for sex toys in the process.
As a result, Emmeline founded Emmeline Peaches Reviews—an informative adult review site where people can go to read honest and extensive reviews.
You can check her out here:
