Ways to spice things up for Valetine's day
When Valentine’s Day comes around, most of us are rushing to find ways to celebrate with our partners. There’s this pressure to go above and beyond for our partners with lavish valentine’s day gifts, fancy candlelit dinners, and bouquets of handpicked roses.
But, let's have a little back story: What is Valetine's day all about? It's not about a common gift for him or her. St Valentine's Day is an annual festival to celebrate romantic love, friendship and admiration. Every year on 14 February people celebrate this day by sending messages of love and affection to your loved ones.
Let’s be honest with ourselves; most of us aren’t interested in those things. Who really wants a stuffed animal holding an “I love you” heart? It’s cheesy, and when you look at it, those things don’t show love.
Even if you’re a couple who’s not into Valentine’s Day, you can use it as an excuse to try new things. Being vanilla is perfectly fine, but switching up the routine isn’t a bad thing, and Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to explore in the bedroom. Here are ways to spice things up on this day of love.
SAY WHAT YOU WANT
Most of us are unsure of our sexual needs or are uncomfortable to communicate them to our partners. Think of Valentine’s Day as more than just the day you celebrate love with your partner. It’s also the day where you acknowledge self-love.
The only way to treat yourself with love is by expressing your needs to your partner. So, if you’re interested in exploring spanking or bondage, talk to your partner about it and see if they’re interested in exploring their sexuality. So, this Valentine’s Day is all about speaking up.
USE SEX TOYS TOGETHER
You know the old saying, couple that plays together, stays together. Okay, that isn’t an actual saying, but it should be. We’re living in a new decade, and the taboo around sex toys is long gone. Don’t waste your money on flowers or teddy bears, get something that you two can actually have fun with.
Kiiroo vibrators can be used for couples, and when Valentine’s Day is over and done with, well, your toy can be used in the bedroom as a couple or for solo use.
Let’s get shopping!
For Her
1. A Strapless Strap-On
Strap-on dildos are nothing new. They’ve been used for many centuries as the pegging penis of choice for eager couples all over the world, in addition to empowering the wearer with their phallic prowess. But much less well-known is that you can actually get pegging dildos that don’t require a harness at all.
Dubbed ‘Strapless strap-ons’ these sex toys work by having an internal bulb which the user keeps in place with their kegel muscles. The resulting sex session allows this bulb to provide internal stimulation for the user where there would otherwise be none and can generally feel more natural. Yes, please!
2. A Clit Pump
Suction-based sex toys may be rising in popularity but the clit pump still feels like somewhat of a poor relation.
This may be due to nerves or simply the medical-esque appearance of the typical clit pump, but don’t let this deter you!
Clit pumps enhance blood flow to this sensitive area, creating overwhelming orgasms.
Be careful, though! Damaging your/her body to chase after the perfect orgasm is not recommended.
Do your research, play it safe, and watch as your partner becomes a clit pump convert.
3. Some Vibrating Jewelry
Many women would consider their vibrator to be a cherished item of intimacy but one that typically has to stay hidden away (no matter how much they might admire them), but this is not the case with sex jewelry.
Surprise your lover with one of the many discreet and beautiful pieces of vibrating jewelry that have hit the markets in recent years and watch her wear her pleasure with pride (or keep it as a playful secret that only you truly know about).
4. Some O-Gel
Lubricant is finally getting the love that it rightly deserves in the bedroom, but there are other options too.
O-Gel is intended to be used in much smaller measurements—typically a single dollop placed on the finger and then rubbed into the clitoris—and can create a minty cooling of passionately heated sensations. If your lover has never heard of (let alone tried) O-Gel then now might be the perfect chance to change that. Just make sure they don’t have sensitive skin or any allergies prior to your purchase.
Use lube as an alternative, also comes in a range of tantalizing sensations
5. A Pelvic Floor Exerciser
Not the most romantic or immediate of gifts in the short-term but potentially life-changing in the long term. Thanks to a certain Fifty Shades series we pretty much all know what jiggle balls are, but there’s an array of far more sophisticated and targeted kegel exercisers out there too.
Usually working like TENS machines, these exercises work in the long-term to provide increased sexual pleasure and muscle control. This is a bonus both physically and mentally; there are few things more affirming than feeling like you’re in control of your own sexual strength.
For Him
1. A Ball Stretcher
Toys like Cock rings, Cock cages, Jiggle balls, are commonplace nowadays, but much more exotic and unfamiliar to most male users are ball stretchers.
Such products can come as chunky rings, which wrap around and forcibly stretch the scrotum out, a full enclosure for the ball sack, or ever and cock-and-ball combo.
In all cases ball stretchers allow users to experience their testicles in a manner that they may have otherwise avoided, presenting new options for play.
Do your research. Safety comes first!
2. A Urethral Sounding Kit
This may be one for the more adventurous lover as, depending on your man, it may send some potential users running in terror.
Urethral sounding kits are a set of typically stainless still metal rods (of varying diameter) which can be slowly and carefully inserted into the urethra, allowing the user to experience sensation both inside of their shaft and outside of it (should they choose to include that element).
Urethral sounding is a niche fetish with a specific set of safety rules, but take the time to invest in it together and you may find that this Valentine’s gift heightens your sense of trust and communication more than you could have imagined.
3. A Male Vibrator
Ladies may traditionally have ‘all the fun’ but now there are quite a few options for the gents out there too, and many are well worth exploring.
Treat your partner to their very own male vibrator (or, as they’re sometimes called, ‘guybrator’) and watch them discover just why vibrators come in such high demand.
Again, this is a wonderful chance to explore new sensations, but a male vibrator may still feel a whole lot more familiar than a rod in the urethra, so this one is the safer bet for those more reserved gents out there.
4. A Chastity Belt
Depriving your partner of sex on the sexiest day of the year might seem cruel and unusual, but that’s kind of the point.
If you’re planning on gifting your partner a chastity device then do so in the morning and take part in the containment. Then make it clear that they can’t be released until you allow them to be.
On an average day, this would be a huge turn on for some guys. On Valentine’s Day?
It’s a good thing they’ll have a device to help contain themselves because otherwise, you might not make it out of the bedroom at all.
5. A Porn Subscription
Many men love porn but a lot also keep it a secret from their partners or treat it with a certain degree of shame.
Here at Kiiroo, we say ‘Boo to that!’
The benefits of being open about each other’s porn habits and watching porn together are well documented and there should be no shame in your partner satisfying their desires in a variety of ways (you wouldn’t want someone to try and control or restrict your sexual habits, right?)
Show your partner that you understand this by getting them a porn subscription. Who knows? It might even open up some new avenues for both of you.
Gender Inclusive
1. Safer Sex Items
Condoms, femidoms, and sexual dams aren’t generally seen as sexy, and that’s why this particular gift may be an unusual one. But exploring new items together is always thrilling and nowadays the safer sex market has users practically spoiled for choice.
It’s also easier and kinder on your bank balance to buy a bunch of safer sex items and splay them out for your partner to discover with you. Doing so doesn’t just show that you value their sexual health (and your own) but also acts as a promise or preview of all the things you might be able to try out together. Trust me—you’ll have plenty of options.
2. An Adult Coloring Book
Colouring books are trending right now in so many different aspects of life, and the adult world is no exception.
There are an array of adult coloring books now available to purchase, so find your favorite one and gift it to your lover for some erotic therapy.
The important part of this gift is to allow your partner the room to explore their own creativity at their own pace before revisiting the book with them when they’re ready to show you. From there you can show your artistic appreciation however you both wish.
3. A Dragon’s Claw
Oh, that Fifty Shades, it sure is the gift that keeps on giving in terms of broadening our knowledge of the BDSM lexicon, but it does have some gaps in its knowledge that allow you to keep a few surprises ready for any kinky Valentine’s plans.
Dragon’s/Cat’s claws are a set of metal claws that act very similarly to a pinwheel—looking lethal and delivering sharp and varied sensations but with very little actual threat. Surprise your partner with one of these when they’re bound and gagged and watched their eyes widen as they imagine just how much their body will soon be squirming.
4. Your Vulva/Penis
Perhaps one of the most unexpected (but also intimate) gifts on this list, there are many clone-a-genital kits on the market nowadays and, if you’re feeling bold, there’s nothing stopping you from using one to gift your lover a replica of your glorious genitals this Valentine’s Day.
Penis kits tend to get the advantage in that they’re usually functional (whereas the vulvas are more decorative) but there are also options out there to make chocolate clones, glow in the dark clones, and even candle clones. Because nothing says ‘I love you’ like giving your partner the power to melt your genitals while all you can do is watch.
5. The Latest Sex Tech
We may be a little biased on recommending this last point but sex tech such as the Kiiroo Onyx, Pearl, and our virtual reality systems are typically on sale around this season and provide the latest and greatest in cutting-edge sex tech.
This is an especially good gift if you’re often separated on business trips but it can also be good for some sexual roleplay, remote domination, or shared porn viewing (essentially combining other elements on this list into one neat bundle).
Sex tech is still a recently emerging field, too, so chances are your partner will be marveling at the newest innovation which you have chosen to gift them.
Again, not that we’re biased.
WATCH PORN TOGETHER
If you two already watch porn together, you can switch things up and explore the type of porn you watch. But, if you don’t watch porn together, it’s time to create your adult-film theatre in your home. Communicate with your partner and figure out what type of porn you two would like to watch together. Whether you two are clothed or naked while watching porn is entirely up to you (we suggest naked).
Don’t want to watch a porn? No, problem. We got the best comedy movies sorted out for you.
CHERDLEYS, BLAKE WEBBER, BELLA ROME, AND TREVOR WALLACE
Best Quote: "Usually I am not in these videos, because I am not very good at being a fuckboy!"
COMEDY CENTRAL
Best Quote: "Love is about connection. So we dress up like we never do, to go to restaurants we've never been to, to order food they never serve, for prices they shouldn't charge, just to get some free champagne,.. that we don't even like"
COLLEGE HUMOR
Best Quote: "OOOOH Saint Valentine,.... YAAAAAY"
DUDE DAD
Best Quote: "OOH Babe, did you see what Matt got Sonya? He framed the concert tickets from their first date, too bad we didn't frame that kentucky fried chicken receipt."
GET NAKED BY PLAYING A GAME
You don’t need to leave your house on Valentine’s Day to show each other love and affection. You have everything you need right in your home. Of course, the best way to spend Valentine’s Day is completely naked, but why not make a game out of it.
Have a fun game of Uno, strip poker, even strip Monopoly (hopefully, you two aren’t that competitive). All you two need to do is pick a game and start playing. Of course, the more naked you get, the better.
TRY OUT ROLE PLAYING
Sometimes, you wish you were someone else, even for a couple of minutes. And the funny thing is you can be someone else...in the bedroom. Role-playing may sound a little awkward at first, but once you start to get into the role of being a sexy nurse or a firefighter, you will find out that this a great idea.
You don’t know where it’ll take you and that’s what makes it exciting. For Valentine’s Day, get a couple of fun costumes and play around with dressing up. It’ll not only turn you both on, but you’ll share some laughs along the way.
USE RESTRAINTS
We always feel the need to be in control, even on Valentine’s Day. We pick out the restaurant weeks in advance, pick out special lingerie, and the perfect gift. In other words, we want everything to be in our control.
But, love is about losing control, and that’s what this day is celebrating. So, playing with restraints is a great way to let go of control and experiment with light bondage.
PLAY AROUND WITH SENSORY DEPRIVATION
When it comes to our senses, we tend to take advantage of them. But during sex, what we touch, taste, smell, and see creates the experience.
Imagine if one of those senses were gone? What happens to the other senses? They’re intensified.
For example, you can use a blindfold to cover your partner’s eye, letting them use their other senses to feel, smell, and hear you. Don’t underestimate the power of the human body; instead, set the mood and play around with it.
Who said Valentine’s Day is only about roses and candles? It’s time to look outside the box and actually pay attention to your partner. Valentine’s Day is about spending the day and time with your partner and connecting. And nothing says “connection” than exploring each other’s bodies.
BACK TO WHERE WE STARTED
This one is a great idea for all those long-term lovers out there. Sure, you love each other dearly. But let’s be honest. After years and years of living together, holidays with the in-laws, laundry, and all those other “not-exactly-sexy-stuff”, take their toll on the best of us.
So, this valentine’s day, why not go back in time? Try to recreate your very first date together, down to as many details as possible. If you watched a particular movie, watch that movie again. If you went to a certain restaurant, then book a table!
Relive the magic of falling in love all over again.
HELLO THERE, STRANGER
If you’re as much of a Modern Family fan as I am, you may have already tried this valentine’s day date idea. This year, do it like Claire and Phil; become strangers to each other. Just for one night!
Agree to separately come to a public place and pretend you don’t know each other.
Introduce yourself to your partner, like you are meeting each other for the first time. This will require a bit of imagination and acting skills! But if done correctly, the ‘stranger’ roleplay can really help you to get to know your partner all over again. Even appreciate them all the more.
Who knows? You might even get lucky with this hot stranger.
LONG-DISTANCE VERSION
If you and your sweetheart are in a long-distance relationship, there’s no reason to miss out on the fun. Start a text conversation with them as if though you’ve never talked to each other before. Remember back when your text conversations were full of flirtatious teasing and sexual tension?
But now that you’ve been in a long term relationship, your text conversations are probably more about mundane stuff. After all, you’ve already ‘conquered’ each other and there’s no need to woo each other over.
That’s why pretending to be strangers, even if it’s just through texting or chatting, can help you both.
You get the chance to see your partner in a romantic light once again! And bring back that exciting feeling you had every time you talked to each other.
VICTORIA’S SECRET EAT YOUR HEART OUT
This one is especially suitable for everyone out there.
This is one of those original valentine’s day date ideas, to show how much they appreciate their partner. While also getting to enjoy a great show!
Be brave and venture into the local lingerie store to find your lover three sets of gorgeous lingerie. Don’t be cheap now! Go for the lush, sexy options that she wouldn’t treat herself to.
First of all, women love to get lingerie from their partners. Second, you get to enjoy a fun fashion show. Everybody wins! That will make for one good backstage party. Just be sure to get her sizes right!
SCAVENGER HUNT
If you have a little extra time to spare in the days (or weeks if you wanna go big) before valentine’s day, organize a scavenger hunt for your sweetheart.
Scavenger hunts aren’t just for kids. Everybody likes to go out on adventures and look for clues. The most important thing is that you’ve put in time and effort to do something for your partner. And that will always be appreciated. Hang up red ribbons around the neighborhood and ask your partner to follow them.
At the end of the hunt, they will find the treasure. In this case: you! Make sure you’re waiting for them in a super romantic setting.
Maybe a spot where you can watch the sunrise. Or a dinner date. Perhaps a little picnic, with roses, candles, a bottle of wine Marvin Gaye: the works!
Rather keep it indoors?
Leave little notes around the house hinting your partner where to find the next note. Like “Your next clue is in the room we last kissed” or “Look for your next clue near your favorite book”. In the end, the clues will lead them to their valentine’s day present.
VALENTINE’S DAY DATE FOR A LDR
Is your valentine not near you on this romantic holiday? No worries, there are still ways you can show them how much you care. Send them a Valentine’s day package. Include their favorite treats.
Maybe sweets that they only sell in the town where you live. Or your most comfortable sweater that they love to steal, scented with your perfume or aftershave.
And of course: a romantic, handwritten love letter.
Enjoy this valentine’s day, to all you lovebirds out there!
Written by:
Doctor Emmeline Peaches
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